“You had your high beams on me there.”
“I’m sorry, Officer, but I didn’t. I have to push this forward.” (Click.) “See? They weren’t on.”
“Hmmmm. Well I have a rig like this myself. Your headlights are too bright. License and registration.”
And so began our time in Ogunquit, at 1 AM, tired eyes startled wide open, hands at 9 and 3 like my driver’s education teacher told me 21 years ago.
“Here. Have fun in Portsmouth. See-ya-bye.”
Whatever you say, Sir!
I had my license and registration back and we were free to continue on to our destination for the weekend, Beauport Inn. Kim and I had just come from a Spose concert in Portland. The officer had asked where we had been. I don’t know where he got Portsmouth but I was glad he shuffled away without writing a ticket. We were in southern Maine to help our friends, the owners of Beauport, move the last of their belongings out of their old condo in Connecticut up to the Inn. We were picking up the box truck rental the following morning, just a few hours from the time we were pulled over for our bright headlights.
Linda had left the key out for us to sneak into our suite downstairs. We tiptoed into the quaintly decorated room, leaving crickets chirping quietly outside. Pine cones and hunter green hues greeted us. I love outdoorsy things! There were moose and black bear knick knacks all around the room. Canada geese on the quilt. Wrought iron towel bars hung in the bathroom, twisted into whitetail deer silhouettes.
Morning blues
The next morning we walked into the kitchen upstairs, greeted by three of the most important things in life: the smell of coffee, the smell of bacon, and the smiling faces of our friends, Linda and Ellen. I did not list them in order of rank of importance. We sat at the large dining room table, completely set for six in Currier and Ives plates. They reminded me of the plates I grew up with in Pennsylvania. Ellen said she started with a smaller service but had acquired more pieces from random people over the years. People who may have the same nostalgia as I. People who have moved on from the signature blue printed plates but want to see them belong to someone else.
My bacon and eggs tasted great on that blue royal China. We fueled up on more coffee and headed out the door, eyeing the pristine swimming pool on our way to the car. The day was going to be a long, hot one, we knew. We mentally flirted with the notion of taking a dip in the pool when we got back. It would probably be a little later in the evening, but if we were quiet and didn’t disturb the guests, we should be fine. Right?
About three hours after picking up the rental box truck at noon, we arrived at Linda’s old condo in Connecticut. The realtor had moved Linda’s items to the garage. We were pleasantly surprised to find it detached from and in front of the condo. There was a nice big parking spot in front of the garage door and it looked like we might be able to swoop in, pop the truck’s cargo door, and scoop up the possessions. We were under the impression that a majority of the stuff we were grabbing would be in the garage.
Surprises in the basement
The realtor came out to meet us and open the garage door for us. While the contents inside weren’t as organized as I imagined they’d be, they looked more than manageable. Plus, I had complete confidence in Kim’s truck packing ability. When we leave for family vacations, she lets me have a practice round at loading our Subaru Crosstrek. When a third of our bags are still in the driveway but I’ve declared that the car is full, she steps in and finds a spot for every piece of luggage. She even affords me the luxury of seeing out the back window much of the time. She’s good.
I’ll admit that I had visions of this afternoon in sunny Connecticut being a grab-and-go as we walked with the realtor to the basement. There, we discovered The Heaviest Loveseat Ever Made, along with a matching recliner and an additional chair and ottoman. We were supposed to move these items to the empty garage after we had grabbed and before we were gone. Also, we laid eyes on a sweet dresser and nightstand that we thought would match perfectly to the platform bed Linda was letting us take home after the move. What great fortune to be able to lay claim to these pieces of furniture.
We decided to clear out what we were packing up from the basement first, as it was the more inconvenient room we were working out of. The basement was, obviously, in the condo, but to get to the basement, we had to walk around the neighbor’s full size Ford pickup, around the corner of the garage, up along a 30-foot sidewalk, between the condo and the house next to it – which meant between the overgrown bushes and utility meters – and then down six steep, concrete steps inside the metal storm doors that came complete with several spiders and their respective webs.
But wait, there’s more…
The realtor pointed out two metal shelving units whose destinations came as a surprise to me…they were coming back with us! We discovered a really sturdy podium on wheels that would’ve made my high school metal shop teacher proud. This podium was solid; it had a heavy pressboard-type lid that you could open to stash your speech for later. And you could let it close on your hand for that last-minute “Sorry, I cut off a finger and I should go get it checked out…can’t do my speech today” excuse.
There were five drawers of varying depth and weight that were thick and strong enough to contain a rabid raccoon, should one challenge you while you’re onstage. Luckily these drawers came out so we could heft it up the storm door stairs. The biggest drawer must’ve weighed 15 pounds empty, to say nothing of the 23 pound raccoon it would hold.
About four and a half hours later, we had emptied the basement of the furniture we wanted and the garage was free of its treasures. We just had to get the aforementioned loveseat and chairs out of the basement and stow them in the garage. The lone chair and ottoman were a breeze! Rejuvenation surged through our bodies as we jogged back down the storm door steps. The end was near! I had already mentioned more than once that a slushie or some other frozen beverage sounded really good, so we knew we were headed toward a margarita or the nearest 7-11 soon. We just had to pick up the recliner. And The Loveseat.
…just a little more…
We thought we’d tackle the heavier of the two. I bent my knees and prepared to pick up one end of the loveseat while Kim got into position to pick up the other. I secured my grip and flexed my quads to stand…and…managed to get my end three inches off the floor. Mind you, I am not a small woman. I play softball, work out and run, on occasion. Admittedly, I am not in the best shape I’ve ever been in, but no piece of furniture, save our sectional sofa, has beaten me in the same way that The Loveseat did.
I put it down and nodded at Kim to try. Maybe our joint energy would overcome the sheer mass of this leather behemoth. We both bent our legs and gave it a go. And I think we gained an inch! For three seconds. There would be no way for us to maintain such a height, wrestle it up the steps, and carry it out to the garage. We shook our heads in unison. I gave The Loveseat the middle finger and we moved onto its smaller yet still formidable cousin, the recliner. While it was half the size, it had the same heavy bottom as the loveseat. Recliners all around! We gave up on that one too when we failed to visualize how we would maneuver it up the narrow steps.
…nope!
Sweaty but smiling, we un-apologetically relayed the sad news about the forsaken recliner family to the realtor. We were sure she could get a couple big, strong men to manhandle the situation. She thoughtfully gave us some cold water from her thermos to tide us over until we found a Mexican restaurant.
Five hours later, we crept the box truck into the Beauport’s driveway so as not to wake anyone up. We still wanted to cool off in the pool. Linda was waiting up for us, glasses of cold water in hand. We guzzled our water while catching her up on our adventure and providing a mini-inventory of the truck cargo. Then we were directed away from the pool and toward the hot tub instead! Our aching muscles rejoiced! We had a good soak followed by quick showers in our suite. Then we passed out, visions of recliners and blue plates dancing in our heads.
